For the first time in a long while, I finally became inspired to write from my heart tonight. My writing has experienced a long, dry season and I questioned when (and how) I could be motivated to write. It was a definite trial of patience and faith for God to reveal this moment to me. For this simple gift I received tonight, I am humbled and most grateful to my Lord and my God. Ironically, I now have my "second wind," and it's long past my bedtime! I'm considering this as a "special assignment" as I am on a "mission from God" tonight to serve as his servant and reveal Himself to you through my writing. Being the extrovert and Irishman I am, bear with me! I'm writing from my heart and letting it flow from my mind to my fingers and computer's keyboard. It's an awesome moment and I'm running with it as long as the Lord believes I've accomplished His "special assignment!"
For those that know me and my writing, I am often motivated by secular forms of communication. Music and spirituality are my two loves of my life. Writing is the link which connects the two for me. Being the "sentimental schmuck," and HUGE Josh Groban fan that I am, tonight I had an opportunity to listen to his new song, "Hidden Away." Here are the lyrics:
Hidden Away - Josh Groban
Over mountains and sky blue seas
On great circles will you watch for me
The sweetest feeling I've got inside
I just can't wait to get lost in your eyes
And all these words that you meant to say
Held in silence day after day
Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave
Please don't keep them
Hidden Away
Sing it out so I can finally breathe
And I can take in all the same
Holding out for something i believe in
All I really need today
I want to free your heart
I want to see your heart
Please don't keep your heart
Hidden Away
You're a wonder, how bright you shine
A flickering candle in a short lifetime
A secret dreamer that never shows
If no one sees you then nobody knows
And all these words you were meant to say
Held in silence day after day
Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave
Please don't keep them
Hidden Away
Sing it out so I can finally breathe
And I can take in all the same
Reaching out for someone I believe in
All I really need today
I want to feel your love
Will you reveal your love
Please don't keep your love
Hidden Away
I want to free your heart
I want to see your heart
Please don't keep your heart
Hidden Away
Yes, this is definitely a love song. However, as I listened to and followed the lyrics, I felt as if it were Christ's love song serenading me. All He wants/expects of me is allow Him to have every part of me and my life. Doesn't sound like much since He did give me the gift of my life without any strings attached. Sounds easy enough ... right?!
Then, if this is "so easy," why is it so hard to live and act upon it? Why do I deny ... fight ... and even RUN .. from the ultimate loving relationship I could ever wish and dream of ... the unconditional love of Christ. Probably, like most humans (especially fellow Catholics), I believe I am not worthy of the greatest gift on all the earth and from the heavens!!!
Yet, when I look at all my relationships, where do I rank Christ? At the top? Middle? Bottom? I guess it truly is a situational thing ... and it should not be. He should always, always be at the top. However, it just goes to show my brokenness and how fickle I am as a human being -- by falling into the trap of selfishness and self absorption. However, it's in those times I allow myself to be deceived, is when I experience the "a-ha moment." Paradoxically, this is where my personal, spiritual and emotional roots grow stronger in Christ.
As I listen to the song, Psalm 95 comes to mind: "If today you hear His voice, harden not your hearts." Man, how crazy is that? God truly DOES work in mysterious, unexpected and incomprehensible ways ... even through Facebook, for crying out loud! Who'd ever think God is "tech savvy?!" I am 100 percent convinced God used Josh Groban as His instrument (pun intended) to communicate His love to humanity -- one human at a time -- and I am one of those folks to be humbled and honored to have Him reveal Himself to me through Groban's musical and vocal gifts and talents.
How have I hardened my heart when God invites me to serve as His witness to my loved ones, and especially to my enemies?
Psalm 34:7 also relates to Groban's song. "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
What are the desires of my heart? What is my "holy longing?" I know I have many, but if I had to prioritize the top three to five, that's a challenge. Many of my desires are "hidden away" in the deep confines of my heart, mind and soul. They are so well hidden from me, I am not even aware of where to begin to look! I probably forgot I tucked them away somewhere -- as I hide a gift for a special occasion and cannot, for the life of me, recall where I put it!
Perhaps the top priority would be to create time in my schedule for prayer. For, through prayer, all the rest of my desires will reveal themselves and fall into place as Christ sees them, not as I would have them be!
What is "Hidden Away," in your heart? Which of these desires do you long for? Why?
Here's the YouTube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB6awdVmR8U&feature=related
1 comment:
Kris,
Your words ring true. The beauty and difficulty of discernment is determining the desires of our heart, but we often cannot know them by simply sitting and examining ourselves. Through interaction with others and living the life that has been set before us, our desires, hopes, and dreams make themselves evident in our lives, and then we can actively choose to follow them and to let them lead us to our Lord and Creator. Another Biblical story that comes to mind is that of the talents. Even though we cannot know for sure why God has granted us particular skills and gifts, we must use them to improve them, to grow and expand them, and in doing so to bring greater glory to God. As an external effect we will positively affect others as well, both insofar as the results of our actions will benefit them, and they will be inspired by our willingness to use our talents to in turn use and expand their own.
So much of life is lived by example. Keep living your beautiful example Kris. Thanks for hooking us up with friends here in San Fran. Have not called Josh yet, but will today after mass. Remember always that you are awesome!
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