The Heart's Song

The Heart's Song
Posted by: Mollie Marti in Success, Peak Performance, Business Growth on Jun 29, 2009

On a recent speaking engagement, I shared the platform with Colin Powell, former Secretary of State and a four-star general. Upon discovering this, one of the first things I did was arrange for my 14-year-old son to meet Mr. Powell and get his autobiography signed to add to his growing success library.

You see, my son has BIG stars in his eyes. He is a young entrepreneur and more well-read in business literature than am I.

When my family attended the speaking event, we were housed on the executive floor of the hotel. This includes open use of the executive lounge. Each morning, my son got up early to breakfast in the lounge. Afterwards, he would settle onto a couch and enjoy a leisurely cup of tea while he read the newspaper and observed the activity in the lounge.

One morning my son returned to our hotel room quietly singing: "I'm an executive. I'm an executive. Exec, exec, exec...I'm an exec." As he went around the room preparing for his day, he continued his sing-song, over and over. His sisters and I just looked at each other and smiled.

When my husband returned to the room, I commented that he had missed the song. My son was completely surprised by my comment. "What song? I wasn't singing anything." Over his denial, the girls quickly chimed in, "Oh, YES you di-id!!" and we broke into a round of the "Executive Song."

This experience spoke to me as both a psychologist and a mom. As a psychologist, I am forever encouraging people to be selfish to their dreams (and supporting a child's dreams). This does not mean getting grabby or giving your kids everything they want. It means that you have an obligation to figure out and stay true to who you are, what you want, and where you are going in life...and helping your kids do the same.

Humans have basic drives to maintain, actualize and enhance our lives. The process that allows us to become our best self rests on a foundation of met needs, positive self-value and high regard from others. A highly actualized life is one that's genuine, authentic, and not at the whim of others' opinions.

Some people choose to never pause, ask essential questions, reflect, and take action. This is beyond sad. It is shirking a core human responsibility. Each of us takes up space and resources on this earth ... if you are living by someone else's rules or following someone else's dream, then you are not paying your fair share for the resources you are using.

As a mom, I witnessed a precious moment of my son discovering more of his "Self." His unconscious song literally was training his brain to create more of his desired future. When I share these moments of discovery with clients, it deeply fuels me. It is an even greater privilege to witness my children forging a path of realizing their potential. Time will tell what my son does with his life. He will have many choices, extensive learning and much hard work ahead as he follows the course he sets.

For this moment, another memory gets tucked away into the deep treasure chests of this mother's heart.