Spiritual Pregnancy

Today I am pondering what our Blessed Mother, Mary, must have been thinking and experiencing during her pregnancy with the Messiah.

I came across an Advent prayer service and a quote from one of my favorite Catholic writers, Fr. Ron Rohlheiser. I share these thoughts with you in these final days of the Advent season.

The angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary."

Did Mary ponder,
pray
and wonder
at God's remarkable design,
then choose
to be unafraid
to trust God,
despite their misgivings
and others' judgments?
Did she act with courage,
not fully comprehending
the birth of love?
And do I?

The conversation between the angel Gabriel and Mary is an extraordinary exchange, offering us the opportunity to think about how we respond to God's announcement in our lives.

The angel reveals to Mary she will give birth to a child, Jesus, who will be the long awaited Messiah. Intially, it seems Mary cannot focus on the deeper meaning of this message because she is bewildered by the implications of the news for her present circumstances. Surely, this was a time of immense confusion for her.

Yet, a remarkable thing happens. She moves beyond her fear and doubt to an openness to receive what God is bringing her. Her response is a word of courageous acceptance. "Here I am, the servant of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to Your word."

When I cannot see the future clearly, when I am afraid of what is unfolding in my life, I think of those words Mary said. I am challenged by her willingness to trust in God without the security of clear understanding and without regard to personal sacrifice. Mary abandoned herself to God's love and care.

During Advent, we pray, "For I, the Lord, your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Do not fear. I will help you.'" If we pray for the dwelling of Christ in our lives, we must be willing to respond with the same trust as Mary. Such a prayer demands faithful response. Are we willing to say to God, "Let it be with me, according to Your word?"

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"Pregnancy by the Holy Spirit;
gestation of that into a child inside of her;
excruciating pain in birthing that to the outside;
nurturing that new life into adulthood;
and pondering,
painfully letting go so that this new life can be its own,
not hers.

Mary was a wonderful mother,
but in ways that went far beyond the simple fact of motherhood.

She heard the word of God and kept it.
That obedience, more than biological motherhood,
gave both an infant Jesus and an adult Christ to the world.

Christmas isn’t automatic, it can’t be taken for granted.
It began with Mary, but each of us is asked to make our own contribution
to giving flesh to faith in the world." Fr. Ron Rohlheiser

I think Rohlheiser's and the anonymous author of the previous meditation offer a lot to ponder and to consider in these final days of preparation for Christmas. Am I ready to give birth to Christmas? How have I spiritually prepared myself for this glorious event? What fears and stresses do I need to ask for the courage to let go of this Christmas? How can I prepare the "inn of my heart" to welcome the Holy Family this Christmas?

I close with Amy Grant's song, Breath of Heaven - Mary's Song.

I have traveled
Many moonless night
Cold and weary
With a babe inside
And I wonder
What I've done
Holy Father
You have come
Chosen me now
To carry your son

I am waiting
in a silent prayer
I am frightened
by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now

[chorus:]
-----------------------------------
Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holiness
For your holy Breath of Heaven
-----------------------------------

Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer-all I am
For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me

[chorus]
Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wz8HR8Fh0Y